Picture of the DAY: How the Pinch stole X-Mas.

Well.. looks to me like SOMEONE wasn’t paying attention when I explained the RULES of the game for St. Patrick’s day. Not that I’m a bit surprised by my MIL Ru’s behavior. She’s all.. ARE you serious? I get to freely roam the halls pinching guys butts without fear of retribution (by their wives) today? NOOOO. Ummm.. but there’s a CATCH Ru. They can’t be wearing green. If they’re found to be wearing ANY shade of green (pointing for clarification to fakey green beads on necklace) THIS color HERE and you’ve pinched them anyway.. then you’ll be immediately disqualified and all privileges revoked. Got that? Whyyy.. sure ya do.

See my friends, this is the problem. When you celebrate certain holidays on a dementia floor (that involve touching others).. people can get all confused and forgetful. Even IF the gentleman is wearing green.. there will always be ONE in the crowd who has NO. SELF. RESTRAINT. Her neuron misfirings get all caught up in the (plaque) moment and all of a SUDDEN she begins to think RATIONALIZE that it’s now perfectly OK to go around and pinch any dudes ASS she sees because.. Hmpf. Who’s gonna know the diff? All Ru has to do, is tell a small teensy FIB to Walter, Roger, the fish tank cleaner man— anyone that she can CON. Then be like, “Ohhhh goodness.. G-R-E-E-N? I didn’t SEEEEE any green. I’m so sorry.. but—

I have PERMISSION to touch you inappropriately on the buttocks.. it’s a HOLIDAY. Merry X-Mas.