Chew’n Show: About

Interview with Adrienne conducted by her children AlienDude #48 and Smart Alec4 in their family home which now has five feet of clean clothes covering the floor and piles of Lego’s strewn about for some unsuspecting passerby (me) to trip on.

A.Dude: So, mom tell me, what’s your name?

Adrienne: Adrienne

A.Dude: And how old are you?

Adrienne: I’m 41

Smart A.: No YOU’RE not.. “Alien Dude! Moms ly-i-ng”..now you have to pay us $5 out of your “listening ear” jar.

Adrienne: Fine! I JUST turned 45. Happy?

Smart A: Tell us about your husband and kids..and dog.

Adrienne: I have a lovely kind husband named Steven whom I’ve been married to for..how old are you guys?

A. Dude: I’m 9 and my brother is 11.

Adrienne: For 5 years..

A. Dude: VERY funny..HA HA..O.K., really. How long?

Adrienne: Coming up on Twenty four years and it seems like..twenty four years, YESTERDAY. We got married and all we could think about was the day we would have our sweet boys running around the lawn inside the little white picket fence, with the dog chasing behind. We would live a very peaceful existence just the four of us. Sure once in a while we’d see the grandparents, they’d come and babysit and we’d take off and have a date night..and then they would leave.

A.Dude: Where were you going on date night?

Adrienne: Some place where I didn’t have to buss the table for no tip. Not everything goes the way you might expect it to go.

A.Dude: Oh..so you didn’t know that Grandma was going to move in with us? I thought you did, because you made us pick up all our toys and throw out our alum and salt crystal experiment growing in the bathroom..

Adrienne: You had to throw it out because it got all grotty! Um..no. It really never occurred to me what we would do if Papa got sick. We never discussed it. Then BAM Papa gets sick..

A. Dude: And we got to watch a ton of DVD’s while you took care of him and Grandma. Smart Alec? Remember that one time mom let us watch Pirates of the Caribbean even though it had a TON of violence?

Smart A.: Yeah, that was soooo cool. Mom? Can we get the next one?

Adrienne: Are you nuts? Nice try. So, there I was, with no plan and no clue what I was going to do to care for Granny when Papa passed. I told him in those final weeks that he didn’t need to worry.. I would take care of Grandma. He wasn’t big on the idea..he though that with Grandma having Alzheimer’s we should just put her “in one of those places”. Never being one to listen to Papa anyway I just blew him off with a “whatever” and figured that I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

A. Dude: It sounds to me that someone didn’t do her homework. Good..then I don’t have to do mine either.

Adrienne: Fine. Then I’m taking away Club Penguin privilege’s.

Smart A: (Shoving his brother) What ARE you doing? Ga! Not Club Penguin..

A. Dude: (Shoving back) What are YOU doing?

Adrienne: Knock it off..that’s en-ou-gh.

Adrienne: It’s true I had no idea what I would do to care of grandma. I was so busy with papa that I was just going to have to leave it to the higher powers that be. Such a wrong move.  Ding Dong.. It’s granny.. in all her Alzheimer’s splendor and she’s taking over the guest room. That’s when the fun began. It’s like you guys when you don’t study for a test, until the morning you have to take it. What happens then?

A. Dude: We cram over breakfast and you threaten us…

Smart A.: ..and then you help us study really fast while we’re eating our Cheerios and then we get to school late.

A. Dude: and then you make us promise to “never pull that stunt again.”

Adrienne: That’s right. Because when we are prepared and we’ve given thought to our future eldercare situation(s) especially family members with health issues.. when they need our help- we will have had a PLAN in place. I would have had an expectation “adjust” done looong before My Sandwich was served and not had to struggle nearly as much to figure it all out under duress. That’s the point of MSG. To remind my BFF’s that this is what a family does..we take care of one another. It can be a very fullfilling and smoother experience for all Generations involved if we follow some basic steps and are prepared for the arrival of our Sandwich.

Smart A: Tests can be hard. R-e-a-l-l-y hard. If you don’t study..you flunk.

Alien Dude: Hey, Smart Alec? Didn’t mom ask your teacher to FLUNK you so you could stay in fifth grade and not go to middle school next?

Smart A: She tried..

Adrienne: Boys..enough!

Adrienne: You know how your mom is? I realized that when Grandma Ruth moved into Happy Daze Assisted Living (dementia floor)  it was not going to be enough just to drop her off and run. I wouldn’t have done that with you boys would I?

Smart A: No. Because we’re your children and you would never do that to your own children.

Adrienne: That’s right. Grandma is our family and it’s my turn to look after her..and Grandma Marnie too. If it was going to be a smooth transition for her..I needed to be there as an advocate.

Alien Dude: Your there EVERY day mom..and with Grandma Marnie, too!

Adrienne: Well, some people take care of their kids and their parents and their Grand Parents. That’s a big mouth full so it’s good that mom has a big..ummm, never mind

Smart A: You were going to say MOUTH! he he he ha..

Alien Dude: heart!

Alien Dude: You take care of a lot of people mom. What’s an advocate?

Adrienne: An advocate is a person who follows the health and well being of the family member that is in need of care. The senior family member may be living in your home, a nursing home or an assisted living facility.. maybe still by themselves. As an advocate, you watch out for your mom or dad..

Alien Dude:.. or your Grandma. Marnie gets around on that electric scooter. I love to get on it. Remember when I almost drove over your foot Smart Alec?

Adrienne: That’s right. Grandparents too! The best thing we can do to have a positive and more nourishing experience in our care giving to all layers of bread is to communicate with our elder family about what THEY want down the road. My feeling is that MY SANDWICH GENERATION will have the knowledge to do eldercare with much more grace and ease than any generation before us. We are realistic, focused and dedicated and we realize the importance of a fulfilling life for ourselves so that we CAN give more to our whole family. We are teaching our children the greatest lesson of all..we take care of each other  through all of life’s stages. Then we always remember to laugh and find the sweetness in what we do..because it’s right there in front of us. Take a look.

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