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CAT and MOUSE

My MIL Ru on the hunt

Dear Diary,

Here’s what’s really great. When my MIL Ru (dementia) walks up to some random dude on the street and this could be..(although NOT limited to) ANYONE in the row of workmen.. hanging out on the curb across from Happy Daze Assisted eating their morning lunch. The poor victim is just minding his own affairs, gnawing hungrily away on his burrito after a long morning of digging up crap and back logging traffic and my MIL will brazenly march up to him (with me hanging on to her arm threatening under my breath for her to LEAVE it.)Then she’ll be all.. “I KNOW you. How’s it going today? The job good? Saw your darling wife.”

Ru’Mae really believes that the best stance in interpersonal communication is the avoidance.. at all costs.. of personal space. Let’s try it together. Find a seated partner and I want you to sidle up to them all nice and cozy and lean wayyy down..FURTHER. There you go. Sticking your FACE almost on HIS.. but not quite touching, the tip of his nose. JUST close enough.. so that when you speak he will be able to see for himself that those are indeed..your VERY OWN teeth.. *sparkle*

So this poor man is looking at Ru like..OMG should I know you? I can see the wheels going around and he’s trying to think WHO the heck could this possibly be? I like to watch his buddies. They’re nudging each other and chuckling. So DUUUUUDE. You have a WIFE.. MAN? Why didn’t you tell us? Heh. Heh. Does Miss September know about this? Then he looks up at me..pleading with his eyes for me to help him. Don’t be looking at me sweetie. This is HER pick up. I’m just along to hold her up by her elbow.

Depending on my mood I may let this little amusement go on for a good five to ten minutes. Then it gets extremely uncomfortable for me to just STAND there (wearing my ultra clingy spandex leggings) in front of a row of guys. Especially when the neighborhood security come around the corner. Cuz wrong ideas COULD be had. Then I begin to mutter under my breath. Kind of a clearing of the throat.. so only Ru can hear.

Ughh-h-h-h-h-h. Ugh. Ahhh. Huh-uhhhh.

Unfortunately for me.. Ru doesn’t UNDERSTAND GRUNT. Slightly embarrassing have to say.. to be asked unduly loud if I HAVE TO GO immediately or can I wait a few more minutes?

We have a..urrrrr— APPOINTMENT.

WHAT appointment do we have?

Oh COME ON. The PERSONAL appointment (jab jab) on the PERSONAL issues we may have (sooner then we know..jab.)

Well THEY sure didn’t tell ME we have personal issues. What kind? Sexual?

Yeah. Pfff. That’s it.

LOOK away dudes. NEVER talk to strangers.

A

Copyright © 2009 My Sandwich Generation. All rights reserved.

Posted in Uncategorized 8 years, 1 month ago at 9:16 pm.

4 comments

4 Replies

  1. Pure awesomeness. If that’s even a word. My grandma had dementia and when she lived with my mom and dad, at the time, they were also helping out a boy who was kicked out of his house for being homosexual. Grandma one day told mom. “I like Clay, but he’s funny” and mom says “I know he’s funny that’s why I keep him around” “No…FUNNY.” “Uhm well how do you know he’s ‘funny’” and then Grandma says “I have invited him to my bed on several occassions and he has rebuked me!” And my loving mother said “Maybe it’s because you’re 84.” Never crossed her mind.

  2. Adrienne Oct 15th 2009

    Fantastic Miranda! LOL..I love it! Thank you so much for the very sweet words!

  3. widdlydids Oct 16th 2009

    Oh 2 the female on building sites had a few of them laterly myself! I do recieve weeds as beautiful flowers alot…! LOL thanku!

  4. LOL I can just picture that poor guy’s face. He must have gotten a good ribbing from his buddies for the rest of the afternoon!