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VAGUE-Health and Fitness: Inside Out

VAGUE-Health and Beauty

A woman’s quest to achieve and then maintain, throughout her life an eternally youthful look and super ripped (functioning) hottie bod— is a universal one. There is not a girl among us.. living at Happy Daze Assisted Living-floor ROAM, who doesn’t think from time to time about keeping her waist line under the circumference of a 500 year old Sequoia and her more MATURE skin less wrinkled then her Sunbleached Crinkle flower tee (J.Crew $42.50 Item 19095 in case you care) that has been shoved in her night stand. Of course if shriveled tee is paired with distressed vintage women ummmmm..slim jeans.. in antique destroyed wash, the look can be ultra fresh and hip. My MIL Ruth, who has dementia and is not afraid to USE extremely vocal on the subject of wrinkles and exercise but also expresses articulately— that to capture must find it first from deep within. The editors of VAGUE Magazine recently had the opportunity to sit down with Ruth (our June cover model) for her perspective on keeping healthy, fit and happy when walking the hallways of ROAM.

When we found Ruth she had just finished her daily Happy Hands class and was daintily dabbing at the perspiration that had come.. due to the intensity of the finger twirl reps her group had just completed.

“You know I make it look easy..but there is nothing easy about holding up this finger (bird finger) and twirling it around in circles.”

Ruth was right. We tried the bird maneuver and had little success completing more than five twirls ourselves. It was tough work. Who knew that by doing finger twirls and thrusts we could elevate our heart rate and burn off maybe..10 calories in the process.

Ruth told us her next fav exercise and secret to good health is her twice daily practice of TM (Transcendental Meditation). We were asked to wait a moment while she changed into her special meditation clothes. We were not sure what to expect when it comes to TM attire but were pleasantly surprised when Ruth came back out wearing her sequined Liz Claiborne white tank and matching cardi, crème slacks and her best pair of old lady pumps in tan (it’s a look). Fresh lipstick (MAC, FYI) had been aptly applied and her hair looked divine. This is definitely something that could work for us.

Of course we were all secretly hoping Ruth would emerge from her changing room dressed in long flowing robes or at least lulu lemon yoga pants and halter. In she’d float..all wisdom and grace, wrap her legs around her neck and begin some other more noticeable and dramatic display. Bummer. What we witnessed was much more subtle. Ruth showed us her “meditation” chair (a mega lazy boy recliner) where she sits—plunked herself down, kicked up her legs onto the leg rest and begins her Transcendental dive into silence.

We sat transfixed as she performed this technique with skill and efficiency. Well, we’re not really sure how much skill it takes to close your eyes and relax. But within moments we could almost swear that her breathing was non-existent. One of us got up and walked up to Ruth know..JUST check to be sure..she was..


“Yes? What do you need?”


Guess she’s good.

We apologized and went back to our assigned seats to continue watching the metamorphosis. Her face relaxed, all tension in her body abated..the silence around her was so profound. We watched quietly. Hmmmm. Nothing too much to see. Well.. one thing we noticed. She began to make a s-o-u-n-d. It was a very familiar sound. Much like the one my husband makes right before I jab him in the rib cage and tell him to SLEEP ON THE COUCH. By golly. Ruth was S-N-O-R-I-N-G. We tiptoed out, careful to not awaken our sleeping Yogi.

Ruth emerged later..having changed back into her “street attire”— looking ever so bright and refreshed. We asked her if there were any OTHER secrets she would be willing to share on her delightful beauty..inside and out.

“Not that I r-e-c-a-l-l. Did I mention the finger twirls?

Before hitting the Root Beer floats being passed as accompaniment to the Tuna FINGER sandwiches; Ruth came over to restate her point. Anyone can capture the fountain of youth. Doesn’t matter if you’re young or just plain young at heart. It’s easy, reasonably priced (unlike the FACE LIFT everyone knows Greta had) and brings out the true inner as well as outer beauty in all. We only need to have the tool to dive deep within to capture the prize that lies inside.

Finger twirls..ONE..TWO..THREE..FOUR..

Posted in Uncategorized 13 years, 11 months ago at 11:32 pm.

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